A Journey Through Pain to Purpose
How One Woman Found God’s Love Again After Losing Everything
Life in itself is a journey — full of detours, potholes, and the occasional breakdown on the side of the road. But when someone becomes a Christian, that journey takes on a whole new meaning. Suddenly, it’s not just about where you’re going but who’s walking beside you.
For her, this walk wasn’t smooth or easy. It was filled with loss, questions, and long nights wondering if God had forgotten her name. But as she’d later discover, even in the silence, He was there — steady as ever.
Welcome friend,
I’m Mark, and this space is for the wanderers, the worn out, and the ones still wrestling with God at 2 a.m. I don’t have all the answers, but I know the One who does—and I’m learning to trust Him more.
If this message meets you where you are, stick around. Subscribe, share, or simply pray with me as we walk this narrow road together.
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Her Story
She was six years old when she asked Jesus into her heart. But to be honest, it wasn’t love that led her there but fear.
She’d heard that Hell was real — a place of fire and darkness, a place for those without Jesus. The idea terrified her. So she prayed the prayer, said the words, and did what she thought she had to do. But even as a child, she carried an unspoken question: If God is good, why do we still hurt so much?
And that question would follow her through nearly every chapter of her life.
The First Loss
Her cousin Darren was her best friend — But as they grew older, Darren’s body began to betray him.
Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy — that was the name of the enemy. It stole his strength piece by piece, until even breathing became a battle. By the time they were thirteen, his smile had grown weaker, but it never faded.
And then one day, he was gone.
That day, something inside her shifted. She learned life was fragile — and that pain didn’t discriminate by age.
A Double Diagnosis
In Kindergarten, she’d already been told she had moderate hearing loss. Hearing aids became a part of her everyday life. It was inconvenient, sure, but she adjusted.
At twenty-one, she went to the eye doctor, thinking she just needed new glasses. Instead, she got a diagnosis that changed everything: Retinitis Pigmentosa.
It meant her eyesight would get worse. Slowly. Permanently.
The doctor explained the details — something about the retina and photoreceptor cells — but all she could think was, I’m going blind.
She laughed on the outside. Numb on the inside. Deaf and blind. What kind of cruel joke was this?
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” — James 1:2–3
Love, Loss, and the Shattering Silence
Not long after that diagnosis, she met Aaron. He was kind, funny, and for the first time in years, she felt hopeful. They got married and started building a life together. She thought maybe — just maybe — things were finally looking up.
Eighteen months later, Aaron was gone.
A car accident. Quick. Tragic. No time for goodbye.
Her faith — what was left of it — broke that day.
So she walked away.
The Wandering Years
Anger became her comfort. Bitterness, her armor. She told herself she didn’t need God — that all Christianity ever gave her was grief.
So she chased meaning elsewhere. Distractions. Busyness. But nothing filled the ache.
Still, no matter how far she ran, she could feel Him — just behind her. Whispering. Waiting. Not forcing. Just being there.
Pause Here For Just a Moment
Reader Challenge:
This week, take ten quiet minutes each day to look at your life through Jesus’ lens.
Try this simple 4-step challenge:
Remember: Think of one moment or season that still hurts.
Reframe: Instead of asking “Why me?”, ask “What could God be shaping in me through this?”
Record: Write down one blessing or lesson that pain taught you — no matter how small.
Reflect: End with this short prayer:
“Lord, help me see what You see — not just the pain, but the purpose.”
Then, share your reflections in the comments:
➡️ How has pain changed the way you see God?
When It Rains, It Pours
Even after remarrying, pain found her again. Her husband nearly died from pericarditis. There were job losses. A miscarriage. The death of her father.
It was like wave after wave hitting the same shore until the sand itself gave up.
She started asking questions she’d asked before but with a softer tone this time:
God… if You’re there, what are You trying to teach me?
She didn’t know it yet, but He was drawing her back — not through blessings, but through brokenness.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” — Isaiah 55:8
The Day Her Heart Stopped
Seven months ago, she woke up in the middle of the night with sharp, crushing pain in her chest.
Her breathing became shallow, and every second felt heavier than the last. She knew — this was it. Death had finally come knocking.
But instead of panic, she felt something unexpected: peace.
Her first words weren’t cries for help. They were prayer.
“Lord, forgive me.”
As she watched the doctors and her husband rush around her hospital bed, her mind went still. It was like the world faded out, and all that remained was Him.
She felt His presence — calm, steady, merciful.
When the results came back, they told her she’d had a heart attack. Two major blockages. One called the Widowmaker. Survival rate: less than 25%.
Yet here she was. Alive.
The stents were placed. Her heart damaged but still beating.
She didn’t see that as luck. She saw it as grace.
“Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” — Matthew 28:20
A New Kind of Vision
She walked out of that hospital different. Not because she was healed, but because she finally understood what healing really meant.
This wasn’t about physical sight anymore. It was about spiritual sight.
For the first time, she saw her pain as part of something bigger — a story God had been writing all along.
She said later, “I thought my Christian journey began at six years old. But really, it began that day. Because for the first time, my faith wasn’t about fear. It was about love.”
She started seeing people through new eyes — not as strangers or annoyances, but as souls God loves deeply.
Even prayer changed. It stopped being a chore and became a conversation. She didn’t just talk — she listened.
And Scripture? It was like reading it for the first time. Words she’d skimmed before suddenly carried weight.
She realized Christianity wasn’t just a religion. It was alive — a living, breathing relationship with the God who never stopped pursuing her.
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Call to Repentance
If you’ve been trying to earn your way into heaven, it’s time to stop striving and start surrendering. Today can be the day everything changes. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:2, “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” Don’t wait for a better moment. Turn from your sin, believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and receive the gift of eternal life. He is calling—respond to Him today.
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What a precious and powerful testimony, Carrie!