Broken Marriages. Silent Years. And a Faith That Wouldn’t Die
A story about surviving when nothing in life stays together
We often expect stories of faith to follow a predictable, polished arc: a moment of crisis, a sudden realization, and a tidy resolution wrapped in a bow. We want the “happily ever after” where every problem is solved.
But for Harold Jackman, the reality of faith was far less decorative. It didn’t always arrive as a sudden burst of light; sometimes, it was forged in a long stretch of silence and sustained through survival. For those currently navigating a “heavy season” or dealing with the echoes of trauma, faith isn’t a package of hope—it is a tool for staying alive when the world feels like it is falling apart.
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Faith as a Survival Mechanism, Not an Instant Remedy
There is a common misconception that walking away from faith is always an act of rebellion. In Harold’s case, it was often a byproduct of trying to survive. When his parents’ marriage collapsed, the foundation of his childhood world went with it. Leaving his Protestant upbringing behind wasn’t a defiant statement; it was the reflexive movement of a child trying to pick up the scattered pieces of his life.
In the years that followed, Harold tried to build something stable on his own terms. He married and, in an effort to support his first wife’s son, he became Lutheran so the boy could attend a specific school. It seemed like the right thing to do, yet that marriage crumbled after only two years of alcoholism and abuse. Once again, what was supposed to be steady fell apart. In these moments, faith wasn’t a “cure” for the pain, but the very thing that kept him breathing.
The Divine Navigation Through Deception
One of the most jarring truths of the spiritual journey is that God can use broken, and even deceptive, situations to lead someone toward a destination they didn’t know they needed. The same year Harold’s first marriage ended, he met the woman who would become his second wife. While the relationship initially seemed hopeful, it was eventually revealed to be built on a lie.
He spent two decades navigating a home life defined by constant instability, a reality that only later made sense through the lens of his wife’s diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and narcissism. Yet, there is an irony at the heart of this wreckage: this woman, who provided years of emotional strain, was the one who brought him into the Catholic Church. Out of a partnership characterized by long-term pain, his faith became the one thing he could be grateful for. It is a strange, holy paradox to find a life-sustaining spiritual home through a source that was otherwise destructive.
The “Someday” Trap and God’s Patient Silence
It is easy to push spiritual matters into the indefinite future, assuming God will wait for a more convenient time. For over a decade, faith was absent from Harold’s life, replaced by the quiet promise that he would “come back to it someday.”
“Maybe you’ve said that before. He probably thought the same thing. But ‘someday’ turned into a long stretch of silence…”
During those years of silence, it might have seemed like the Divine had moved on. But God does not leave the room just because we’ve stopped acknowledging He is there. Even when Harold stepped away, the Presence remained.
Persistence Without a “Quick Fix”
We live in a culture that demands instant results, but real faith often involves enduring decades of instability without a clean conclusion. Harold chose to stay for twenty years.
Perhaps the hardest part of this testimony is acknowledging that the pain is not yet a memory—it is a present reality. His son, now 27, grew up in that environment of narcissism and instability and still lives there today, carrying the weight of a situation that has no easy resolution. A true testimony doesn’t require a neat ending to be valid. It is a record of surviving:
Broken marriages
Alcoholism and abuse
The confusion of deceptive relationships
Years of emotional and mental strain
Conclusion: Building Something Real on Sand
The most powerful realization Harold came to is that God does not wait for someone to have their life in order before showing up. Even when the foundation of life looks like shifting sand, it is possible to build something real. Faith isn’t always a victory shout; sometimes, it is just the thing that keeps someone breathing when everything else feels heavy. It is the anchor that holds even when the ground beneath it is soft.
As you look at your own circumstances, where might you be overlooking a steady presence in your current heavy season?
📚 Worth Your Time
This week, I want to point you to several books from within our own community.
Author: White Harvest Media
Book: Bethan’s Identity
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Authors and their Amazon links:
Steve | Choregeo Letters — Click Here
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Call to Repentance
If you’ve been trying to earn your way into heaven, it’s time to stop striving and start surrendering. Today can be the day everything changes.
The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:2, “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.”
Don’t wait for a better moment. Turn from your sin, believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and receive the gift of eternal life.
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Thank you for sharing this! I am currently writing a book about my own marriage that nearly fell apart, but God somehow found a way to heal our hearts. It certainly is not a quick fix and God can meet us in the middle of wherever we are! Your lines: "Faith isn’t always a victory shout; sometimes, it is just the thing that keeps someone breathing when everything else feels heavy. It is the anchor that holds even when the ground beneath it is soft." So true!
What an amazing testimony, one filled with so much of our Father’s goodness and love. How He makes gardens out of our graves—this happens to be a worship song that has been on my heart since last night when I listened to the testimony!
Thank you Harold Jackson for sharing your story all for His glory!
Thomas, well said and so impactful the flow and how it reads illuminating the Lord’s goodness after painting a beginning picture of Harold’s struggles and faith.
WORSHIP SONG GRAVES INTO GARDENS BY ELEVATION WORSHIP
https://youtu.be/h34URb_Vo30?si=Y9I5RjoNnCFS7XBP