From Fear to Freedom: Andrea's Testimony

How Jesus Rescued Her from Religious Performance and Depression

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me...” – Galatians 2:20

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A Childhood Faith

She met Jesus when she was just ten years old, filled with a sense of wonder and joy that made her feel like she truly belonged to Him. The Gospel was simple back then—beautiful and life-changing. Jesus had taken her sin, paid her debt, and offered her eternal life. She believed it, embraced it, and rejoiced in it with all the innocent confidence of a child.

But as she grew older, things began to change. Her family switched churches a few times, and the message she once knew so clearly began to get clouded. What started as the gift of grace slowly turned into a system of performance. She began to hear that, although Jesus had saved her, staying in God's good graces was now her responsibility. His love, His presence, even His blessings, all started to feel like they were tied to how well she could hold everything together. She would leave church on Sunday feeling encouraged, only to find herself doubting and despairing by Monday—or sometimes before even making it out of the parking lot.

This distorted version of the Gospel slowly wore her down. Instead of resting in Christ, she lived in constant fear, measuring her salvation by her failures. She began to feel like she was walking a tightrope between heaven and hell, her standing with God hanging on her performance rather than His promises. The Gospel no longer felt like good news—it became a burden too heavy to bear. Under the weight of law mixed with grace, sanctification was no longer seen as the Spirit's work within her but as a personal project she had to maintain through effort and discipline.

In time, her joy faded. Her identity as a beloved daughter of God began to crumble. Her relationship with God felt more about her flaws than His faithfulness, and when she looked around at others walking in boldness and peace, she couldn’t help but feel like she had missed something. All she could see in herself was failure, and that failure pushed her deeper into darkness—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

Her descent led to disordered eating, a clinical diagnosis of depression, and ongoing suicidal thoughts. Her body was giving out, her marriage was strained, and eventually, they lost their home. The girl who once rejoiced in her Savior now lay in bed, barely able to lift her head, absolutely convinced that she had committed the unpardonable sin and that God's grace had run out.

Then one afternoon, standing alone in the kitchen and staring at a collection of pills, pain patches, and a heart full of despair, she cried out with what little strength she had left. “Jesus,” she whispered, “if You are real, if You love me, if I still belong to You—help me.”

That day marked the beginning of everything changing.

Her father had previously given her husband a book called Destined to Reign, and though it had sat untouched for a while, something stirred in her heart, and she picked it up. What she read overwhelmed her. It wasn’t a message of fixing herself, trying harder, or doing better—it was all about Jesus. The Gospel, as she encountered it again, was not about her striving but about His finished work. Page after page, she was reminded that everything she thought she had to earn had already been secured by Christ.

That book led her to another called The Power of Right Believing, which took her deep into Scripture and began reshaping everything she thought she knew. The truth of the Gospel hit her like a defibrillator, shocking her weary soul back to life. For the first time in years, she saw that God had never stopped loving her, had never walked away, and had never required her to prove her worth. He had been pursuing her all along, not to punish her, but to restore her.

She finally believed

It wasn’t about getting it right. It wasn’t about earning love. It was about resting in the love she already had, the love proven on the cross. From that moment on, she began to hunger for Jesus again—not because she felt obligated, but because she was finally free. Her faith returned with the simplicity and sweetness she had known as a child, but now rooted even deeper in grace.

Though her life hasn’t been without struggles since, she walks each day with gratitude, knowing she is not alone and never unloved. Her passion is to share the truth of Jesus’ finished work with others, reminding them that they are not disqualified by their failures and that grace is still greater than their sin. She rests in the beautiful reality that she can neither add to nor take away from what Jesus has already completed.

The Gospel isn’t a burden anymore—it’s her peace, her anchor, her freedom.

Want to learn more about Andrea? Check out her Substack here:

https://substack.com/@theonething1

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Conclusion:
Her journey reminds us that the Gospel is not a ladder we climb but a gift we receive. When faith becomes about performance instead of grace, we lose sight of the Savior and start focusing on ourselves. But Jesus didn’t call us to carry the weight—He already carried it. If you're worn out from trying to measure up, if your heart is tired and your soul is anxious, remember this: you are not too far gone, and He has not let go.