Welcome friend,
I’m Mark, and this space is for the wanderers, the worn out, and the ones still wrestling with God at 2 a.m. I don’t have all the answers, but I know the One who does—and I’m learning to trust Him more.
If this message meets you where you are, stick around. Subscribe, share, or simply pray with me as we walk this narrow road together.
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“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18
A Life Built on Appearances
She was born into a Christian family. Both parents were devoted, and her mother even taught Sunday school. By the time she was 17 or 18, she “accepted” Jesus as her Savior. From then on, she learned more about God—but only in her head. For the next seven years, she lived puffed up by her little knowledge, thinking she was fine, but never truly seeking God for herself.
Instead, she fell into gossip, an unhealthy situationship, judgmental thinking, and the influence of worldly friends. She had built a fortress of lies around her heart, hiding behind the mask of self-righteousness. Deep down she knew her life was shallow, but she didn’t know how to escape—or if she even wanted to.
The Shaking
In 2023, her parents arranged her marriage to a man in India—someone she barely knew. This shattered the high tower of control she had built. For the first time, her life wasn’t going the way she wanted. In despair, she cried out to God. But when she felt Him leading her toward the marriage, she felt betrayed, as though God was against her.
Her bitterness grew. Depression sank in. Yet her mother’s reminder rang in her ears: “God promised He will never leave you nor forsake you. Where is your faith?”
Holding on to that promise, she agreed to the marriage. Shortly after, she moved to the United States.
The Wilderness
In America, everything was new and foreign. She had no friends, no familiar places, and carried a heavy burden of bitterness in her heart. Alone, she finally started spending time with God. His Word began to speak to her in ways she had never experienced before.
One verse pierced her heart like lightning:
“You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”
— John 5:39–40
She realized she had been more concerned with knowing about God than actually knowing Him. The truth of her condition was exposed, and she broke down, crying out for forgiveness.
A Heart Rewired
Slowly but surely, God began healing her. He revealed her idols, her hidden sins, her bitterness. He led her to repentance. He helped her forgive others. Piece by piece, He tore down the false life she had built and rewired her from the inside out.
She says now with joy: “He saved me from me.”
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
— 2 Corinthians 5:17
Living Restored
Two years later, she looks back and thanks God for every difficult moment. She knows if she tried to erase the hardest, loneliest part of her life, she would also erase God’s saving work in her heart.
Today, His Word continues to draw her closer. She trusts Him with her life, finally free from the need to control everything.
And she declares with confidence: “Giving away the control over my life to Lord Jesus was the best thing I’ve ever done.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6
What This Teaches Us
Her story shows us that head knowledge about God can never replace truly knowing Him. Sometimes, God allows our world to fall apart—not to destroy us, but to rebuild us on the foundation of Christ. It reminds us that surrender is not weakness but the doorway to freedom.
Like her, we are called to lay down control and trust Jesus with every part of our lives. Because when we finally stop fighting Him, we find out He has been for us all along.
“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’”
— John 8:31–32
Call to Repentance:
If you’ve been trying to earn your way into heaven, it’s time to stop striving and start surrendering. Today can be the day everything changes. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:2, “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” Don’t wait for a better moment. Turn from your sin, believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and receive the gift of eternal life. He is calling—respond to Him today.
Call to Action:
If this message spoke to your heart, don’t keep it to yourself. Share it with someone you love—and make sure to subscribe so you never miss more biblical truth, encouragement, and hope. Let’s walk this journey of faith together.
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