When Social Media Becomes an Affair
Facebook, Soft Porn, and the Crisis of Modern Relationships
This one will surprise you.
Most affairs don’t start in hotel rooms. Yup. Not anymore.
They start in the living room….
While someone you love is five feet away.
And no, I’m not talking about physical cheating. Not yet.
I’m talking about attention. Desire. Imagination. Emotional energy.
The stuff that used to belong to real people.
Lets talk about it.
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“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” — Proverbs 4:23
Let’s Stop Pretending Facebook Is Neutral
Facebook isn’t just baby photos and church potlucks anymore.
It’s thirst traps.
Yea I said it. Don’t act like you don’t return to that OnlyFans model on Facebook every once in a while to get a “quick glance.”
And that’s just it—it feels innocent. But a “quick glance” or sometimes longer, ALWAYS leads to more.
You didn’t search for it…not really.
You just…scrolled for it.
What do I mean? Let’s be honest—you saw this coming. There’s a desire you’ve carried longer than you’d like to admit. It doesn’t feel loud or urgent anymore. Just familiar. That’s what happens when sin gets normalized.
The eyes are the window to the soul.
Oh, and there’s also this 👇👇👇
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
— Matthew 5:28
So what happens?
Your attention starts leaning away from the person in front of you and toward the screen glowing in your hand like a tiny altar.
Emotional Affairs Don’t Announce Themselves
Nobody wakes up and says,
“Today feels like a great day to emotionally disconnect from my spouse.”
It’s quieter than that.
It looks like:
Scrolling instead of talking
Liking instead of listening
Imagining instead of investing
You laugh at someone else’s jokes online but barely respond to the person who shares your bed.
You feel seen by strangers and invisible at home.
That’s drift.
And drift is how boats hit rocks.
Soft Porn Trains the Heart, Not Just the Eyes
Soft porn doesn’t scream. It whispers.
“This doesn’t count.”
“You deserve this little escape.”
But Jesus didn’t say lust starts with action.
He said it starts in the heart.
And hearts are shaped by what we stare at the longest.
When your phone gets your best energy—your curiosity, humor, imagination—don’t be surprised when real relationships start to feel dull. Real people are messy. Screens are curated.
But curated love doesn’t love you back.
Your Phone Is Always Saying Yes
That’s the problem.
Your phone never disagrees.
Real relationships do.
Real love costs something.
Scrolling doesn’t.
And over time, we start choosing the cheaper option while wondering why we feel empty.
This Isn’t About Rules — It’s About Direction
I’m not here to say “delete everything and live in the woods.”
(Though some days… tempting.)
I’m asking a simpler question:
Where is your attention going when no one is watching?
Because that’s where your heart is heading next.
If your quiet moments belong to your phone, don’t be shocked when your spiritual life feels distant and your relationships feel thin.
Affairs of the heart don’t require physical touch.
They require divided loyalty.
A Gentle But Honest Wake-Up Call
Put the phone down sometimes.
Look at the person God put in front of you.
Sit with the discomfort instead of scrolling past it.
Temptation thrives in secrecy.
Healing starts with honesty.
And if this hit a nerve… good.
That nerve still works.
Reflection
What does your phone get from you that the people in your life don’t?
And what would change if you gave that attention back where it belongs?
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Call to Repentance:
If you’ve been trying to earn your way into heaven, it’s time to stop striving and start surrendering. Today can be the day everything changes. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:2, “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” Don’t wait for a better moment. Turn from your sin, believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and receive the gift of eternal life. He is calling—respond to Him today.
Call to Action:
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We’ll Talk Soon
— Mark
Wow! Some one needed to call this out!
Goodness that was well said!!
I encourage you to delete Instagram. It's the same as fb.
I'll be the first to admit that social media affected my marriage in a negative way. (Excluding Substack) I will never return. It is Satan's playground.