Why You Keep Watching Porn Even Though You Hate It (and What to Do First Thing Tomorrow)
Small Wins You Can Start Tomorrow — Even If You Failed Today
You wake up already tired.
Not sleepy tired.
Soul tired.
Your phone is still on the nightstand and the room is quiet. Before your feet even hit the floor, the memory shows up uninvited. Last night. Again.
You hate that you did it. You really do.
Did you make that final promise to God again?. Ohhhh you really meant it this time didn’t you?
Now you’re doing that thing where you mentally rehearse an apology prayer… but you don’t actually pray yet. Because you don’t know what to say that you haven’t already said a hundred times.
So you lie there for a minute longer than you should.
And the worst part isn’t even the porn anymore.
It’s the confusion.
Why do I keep going back to something I honestly hate?
Why does part of me want freedom… and another part of me keeps reaching for the same poison?
And what am I supposed to do now — today — without making another promise I probably won’t keep?
If that feels uncomfortably familiar…
Hi friend!!!
Guess what? You’re not alone.
And, you’re not crazy.
Let’s talk about what’s really going on — and what to do first thing tomorrow morning, when the shame is still loud and the hope feels quiet.
Buckle up. This is about to get interesting.
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For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
— Romans 7:18
You’re Not Weak. You’re Wired.
Here’s the first gentle roast:
If sheer willpower worked, you’d be free by now.
You’ve tried promising.
Deleting apps.
Installing filters.
White-knuckling through temptation like it’s some kind of spiritual CrossFit.
And yet… relapse.
That’s not because you’re uniquely broken.
It’s because porn doesn’t just appeal to desire — it hijacks systems.
Porn trains your brain to associate comfort, escape, relief, novelty, and control with one easy behavior. There’s no rejection or vulnerability. So It’s easy. Effortless. Just dopamine on demand.
So when life hits — stress, loneliness, boredom, rejection, exhaustion — your brain doesn’t say, “Let’s destroy his life today.”
It says, “Hey, I know something that helps us feel better right now.”
And that’s the trap.
You hate porn morally.
But part of your nervous system still experiences it as relief.
That tension doesn’t make you evil.
It makes you human… stuck in a cycle you were never taught how to break.
Why Shame Is Quietly Keeping You Stuck
Let’s talk about shame for a second.
Shame isn’t just feeling bad.
It’s also the voice that says, “This is who you are.”
Conviction says, “That wasn’t good. Let’s change direction.”
Shame says, “You are the problem.”
And porn thrives in that environment.
Because shame doesn’t lead you to light — it drives you underground. It convinces you to hide from God instead of running toward Him. That’s when the isolation, silence, and secrets begin.
Here’s another gentle roast:
If shame actually worked, you’d be free by now too.
But shame hasn’t healed you.
It’s just kept you cycling between regret and relapse.
God isn’t shocked by your struggle.
He’s not wringing His hands every time you fall.
What does grieve Him is watching you believe the lie that you’re disqualified from grace until you “do better.”
The Triggers You Keep Ignoring (Because They’re Not Sexy)
Let’s get painfully practical because It’s necessary and honesty is the antidote to this problem.
Click Here 👉 Trigger Awareness Self Check
Most relapses don’t start with lust.
They start with something boring and inconvenient.
Stress you didn’t deal with
Loneliness you didn’t name
Exhaustion you ignored
Conflict you avoided
Boredom you underestimated
Don’t think so? Mr.Wayne agrees 👇 👇 👇
Porn becomes the emotional junk food you reach for when you don’t know what else to do with what you’re feeling.
And here’s the honest truth:
Until you learn to deal with what drives you to porn, quitting porn will feel like trying to hold your breath underwater forever.
You don’t need more guilt.
You need awareness.
Ask yourself — without judging the answer:
When am I most vulnerable?
What am I trying not to feel?
What does porn temporarily “solve” for me?
Those answers matter more than another filter app.
So… What Do You Do First Thing Tomorrow?
Don’t make it next month.
Or, “once you get your act together.”
Tomorrow morning.
Here’s where we slow this down and make it real.
1. Stop Making Dramatic Promises
Please — for the love of your sanity — stop making emotional vows at rock bottom.
“I swear I’ll never do this again” feels spiritual, but it’s usually just panic talking.
Instead, say something simpler and braver:
“God, I failed. I’m still here. Help me take the next right step.”
That’s not weak faith.
2. Get Out of the Shame Fog Early
Don’t carry last night like a backpack all day.
Shame loves mornings because you’re tired and unguarded.
Do something physical:
Get out of bed immediately
Drink water
Step outside
Move your body
You’re not ignoring the issue.
Just reminding your nervous system that today is not yesterday.
3. Name the Battle — Don’t Romanticize It
You’re not “just struggling.”
This is fighting a habit that’s been reinforced over time.
That means progress will be:
uneven
slow
sometimes discouraging
Freedom isn’t built on perfect streaks.
It’s built on consistent honesty.
Track patterns, not just failures.
4. Bring One Thing Into the Light
You don’t need to tell everyone.
But you do need to tell someone.
Isolation is porn’s best friend.
Whether that’s:
a trusted brother
a mentor
a pastor
a counselor
Light doesn’t instantly heal — but it suffocates secrecy.
(You’re more than welcome to send me a personal message. I wont judge. I’ve been there)
Also, grab this before you continue to scroll 👇 👇 👇 👇
A Hard Truth (Because You Can Handle It)
You will not accidentally drift into freedom.
No one wakes up one day and says, “Hey guys! I don’t struggle anymore!”
Freedom comes from:
intentional structure
honest community
spiritual humility
practical wisdom
patience
And yes… sometimes falling forward instead of falling apart.
This isn’t about becoming a perfect Christian.
It’s about becoming an honest one.
If You’re Married… Let’s Not Pretend This Is Neutral
Porn doesn’t stay in its lane.
Even if your wife doesn’t know, it’s shaping:
how you view intimacy
how you show up emotionally
how safe you feel being known
You don’t need to live in fear — but you do need to live in truth.
Healing here isn’t just about quitting porn.
It’s about becoming present again.
(To my married Pastors, Christian Men/Women friends — You’re not alone in your struggle. I use Truple to keep me from wandering online. I highly suggest it.)
If You’re a Church Leader… You’re Not Alone Either
Let me say this carefully.
Struggling with porn does not automatically disqualify you from God’s grace.
But hiding does damage your soul.
You don’t need exposure.
But, you do need wisdom, accountability, and restoration.
Carrying this alone is heavier than stepping into help.
One Last Thing (And It Matters)
You are not fighting for God’s approval.
This is you fighting from it.
Grace is not permission to stay stuck.
It’s the strength to keep going when you are.
You don’t need to win the whole war today.
Just take the next right step.
Tomorrow morning.
Then the next one.
That’s how freedom actually begins.
And if you’re still here reading this — that alone tells me something about you.
You haven’t given up.
That matters more than you think.
Sources & References:
Fight the New Drug
https://fightthenewdrug.org
A research-backed organization that explains how pornography affects the brain, emotions, relationships, and mental health — without shaming or religious pressure. Helpful for understanding why porn feels compulsive.
Gary Wilson – Your Brain on Porn
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com
An extensive resource explaining how repeated porn use rewires the brain’s reward system, contributing to compulsive behavior. Widely referenced in addiction recovery discussions.
American Psychological Association (APA)
https://www.apa.org
Research articles and clinical insights on addiction, habit formation, shame, and compulsive behaviors. Useful for understanding the psychological patterns behind relapse.
Covenant Eyes
Faith-based resources focused on pornography addiction recovery, accountability, and rebuilding trust. Includes articles for individuals, married men, and church leaders.
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Christian Hotline & Prayer Support
If you’re struggling or need someone to pray with you, please reach out:
National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988
Focus on the Family Prayer Line: 1-877-771-4357
The 700 Club Prayer Line: 1-800-700-7000
Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: 1-888-388-2683
Chatnow (24/7 Christian Chat & Prayer):
https://chatnow.org
Call to Repentance:
If you’ve been trying to earn your way into heaven, it’s time to stop striving and start surrendering. Today can be the day everything changes. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:2, “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” Don’t wait for a better moment. Turn from your sin, believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, and receive the gift of eternal life. He is calling—respond to Him today.
Call to Action:
If this message spoke to your heart, don’t keep it to yourself. Share it with someone you love—and make sure to subscribe so you never miss more biblical truth, encouragement, and hope. Let’s walk this journey of faith together.
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We’ll Talk Soon
— Thomas M. Hamlyn
Exactly! This is about a pattern in your soul that you can't shake and, as you noted, applies to many other sinful behaviors. I wrote about the same thing here. https://learning2love.substack.com/p/the-demon-of-escapism-and-how-im?r=6h5er0
I'm glad that people are starting to recognize this. It's a deadly pattern. Hopefully people can find true freedom through this recognition.
The cross is the only way I personally began to get traction is consistent overcoming of sin. "He that is DEAD (crucified with Christ) is freed from sin." (Romans 6:7) Please read that again. Memorizing and declaring and applying the cross..... declaring daily Colossians 3:3 and Galatians 2:20, etc. The victory awaits. The resurrection will not happen till you die and are buried! Do it beloved of God. And Jesus will raise you upward into His full and complete victory.